“Parenting is not about you.”
I can still hear Paul David Tripp’s words ringing in my ears. A handful of us had gathered to watch a livestream of his parenting event. It was a like a balm to my weary heart. Tears sprang to my eyes as I reminded that my job as mommy is not controller or commander of my children’s hearts, but ambassador of God’ authority in their little lives. When I make parenting all about me, my reputation, and my comfort, it is “neither Christian nor parenting and I am simply left with a punished rebel.” A weight lifted off of my shoulders as I remembered that it is the Holy Spirit’s job to break, change, and mold my child’s heart.
On our way home, Adam and I discussed the parallels between parenting and ministry in the local church context. The shepherding, ministry, and counsel that occurs on a regular basis can so easily overwhelm our hearts. It’s only when we realize that church is not about us and that it’s success is on the Spirit’s shoulders not ours, that true freedom is possible.
Ultimately, all of life is NOT about me. God must have needed to drive this point home to my heart this past weekend, because I also had the opportunity to read the brand new book by Sharon Hodde Miller, Free of Me: Why Life is Better when it’s NOT ABOUT YOU. Sharon, a “serial people-pleaser,” found herself bound by a self-focus and self-absorption that had seeped into virtually every area of her life. I was immediately convicted as she described our tendency to make life about ourselves when it’s not! We are trapped in the idolatry of self-image and can only be set free by a “reprogramming” of our hearts and minds.
I love how she addresses very specific areas of our daily lives. Self-focus can rear its ugly head in our relationships, calling, appearance, and even our approach to God Himself. I was especially encouraged by the Interlude where Sharon wisely reminds us that any change in our lives will not be automatically permanent and requires the power of the Holy Spirit.
“The human soul is a lot like that [out of tune musical instruments]. It drifts. Without deliberate retuning, it goes out of tune with the gospel…..Salvation unbends our souls and points us toward God and others, but left unchecked, our souls will always drift back to the inward position.”
The last half of the book focuses on four ways to be “free of me.” These are practical habits to implement into our lives to effectively live with an outward focus. She reminds us that in Christ we can find balance between self-sacrifice and the healing we so desperately need. The Spirit enables us to obey God’s call while still experiencing the incredible joy He offers His children.
I was left challenged, convicted, and encouraged by the words in this book. We all too often are handicapped by a constant over-awareness of self, and true freedom is only found in our Savior.
I would love for you to read it too! Grab a copy over at Amazon (it’s available now!) or leave a comment below for a chance to win a copy. Details below:
*Let me know a book you’ve been reading lately for your comment to count towards the giveaway! I will pick a winner on Sunday, 10/8/17.
Congratulations, Suzette! You have won the book! Look in your email inbox for the details!